Give me the real thing.


I was born and raised on the North Side of Chicago, in the Albany Park neighborhood, so the Cubs winning the pennant last night was one of those things I never thought I’d live to see, no matter what. My dad actually fell to his knees in the living room after that final double play. Now beat the goddamn Indians!


It would be easy to focus this on artificial flavorings in food and drink, as they are truly disgusting, but instead, I’m talking about artificial feelings. You know, people pretending to feel something they don’t, either to fit in, placate someone, or ingratiate themselves to someone. If there’s anything I hate, it’s someone faking emotion. I see this a lot when people die. I don’t necessarily mean just when celebrities die, though that particular kind of faux melancholy is especially irritating. I mean when someone you know loses someone, whether it’s a parent, sibling, child, spouse, or a friend. If you didn’t know the deceased, it’s okay to not be devastated by their death. I don’t expect people to fall to pieces when someone they don’t know well or even at all, dies. When you come at me looking like your entirely family was just devoured by a velociraptor, I’m going to get pissed off, because it looks like you’re faking grief for attention. People like that are just disgusting.

What did Barrett Strong say?

I enjoy fantasizing about what I’d do if I ever won the lottery. One of the first things on my list would be doing some much needed improvements to the house, such as getting rid of dead trees, fixing the roof, doing a whole new deck/stairs off the back, fencing in the backyard, and finishing the garage. Then I’d like to give my mom a whole new kitchen since she loves to cook and is so wonderfully good at it.  I’d pay off everyone’s debts, including my sister’s $70,000+ student loan debt.  I’d basically worry about everyone else before myself.  I know they say money doesn’t buy happiness, but in my case, it would buy a whole shit-ton of it.

Seven wonders.


I think out of all the seven wonders of the ancient world I’d like to see, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon are #1.  There’s something very mystic and dreamy about all the descriptions of it I’ve read, and if the real thing looked anything like the artist’s interpretation above, I’d show up with a hammock, a few good books, some ice cold lemonade, and a pillow.  Doesn’t that look like a lovely place to take a snooze?  You can keep the Colossus of Rhodes or the lighthouse at Alexandria.  I’ll take some pretty flowers and greenery.

I’m open to falling from grace.

The prompt today reminded me of one of my favorite songs back when I was a freshman in high school. I used to hear it a lot on the radio, and of course, saw the video on VH1 and MTV, back when those two channels used to actually play music videos, in their entirety, at some time other than 3 o’clock in the morning. You know, the good ol’ days. Enjoy the trip down memory lane.

Pay attention, *insert vulgar word here*

I am not the most patient person in the world. I can be when I need to be, but it’s often begrudgingly.  There’s nothing I find more irritating than standing in line somewhere — a fast-food restaurant, a checkout line, a polling place, the DMV, or anywhere else people gather to stand in a queue — and people ahead of me in line don’t move when they need to. You’re standing there like an idiot with this huge gap several people ahead of you, and someone is fucking around on their phone or whatever and not paying attention. The same is true when you’re stopped at red light and the car ahead of you stopped too short of the car in front of them, so there’s a massive gap between them and that car, causing all the cars behind them to be backed up more than they should be. You honk, you gesticulate wildly, yet they don’t seem to get the hint. You can’t honk or gesticulate wildly when you’re standing in line. Well, you could, but you’d look awfully silly.

Election 2016 — Three weeks away.

Every Monday until Election Day, I will make this post. If you’re not registered to vote, depending on what state you live in, there might still be time for you to do so. Go to the following links to get information on how to register:

If you’re already registered, go to Ballotpedia, click on the banner that says “Look up your sample ballot,” then input your address.  All the information that will be on the ballot when you go vote on November 8 will be there for you.  Read up on who is running for what office and make informed decisions.  If you can’t stand anyone running for President, that’s fine, but vote for downticket races.  Don’t stay home.  Exercise your franchise. People didn’t die and/or go to jail for the right to vote so you could sit on your ass and be lazy.  There is NO EXCUSE for anyone in this country to note vote.  Early voting exists in many states, and check here to find it when it starts for you.

This election is too important for people to not give a shit.

Cynicism becomes me.

I’d like to think that I’m a trusting person, not someone who lacks sufficient faith in their fellow man, but unfortunately, we don’t live in the kind of world where someone like that is me.  I’m not suspicious all the time, but I have a hard time believing in the inherent goodness of others.  I’m the type of person that would rather be doubtful, then end up pleasantly surprised, than trust the other person and end up disappointed.  My life has had enough disappointments, I don’t need to willingly add any more to the list.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

While that’s the name of my favorite secular Christmas tune, I’m not actually talking about Christmas. Not yet, anyway. No, I’m talking about autumn, or the time of year I actually burn candles. I don’t in the spring/summer, because they make the room too warm, and there aren’t any scents I particularly associate with spring or summer, aside from maybe lilacs and sunscreen. In the autumn, I love candles that smell like warm, spicy things, such as apple pie or pumpkin pie. In fact, my two favorite candles are an apple cinnamon blend and a pumpkin spice blend, which makes my room (and thus the entire upstairs of the house) smell like I’ve been baking all day, which is by no means unpleasant. It’s one of many reasons I prefer autumn over any other time of year.

Two left feet.

I am not coordinated.  At all.  When I was learning to drive, my family had a car with a stick shift, and I had the most difficult time learning how to work the clutch on top of remembering which pedal was the gas, and which was the brake.  I’m also really bad at dancing, because I have the short-term memory of a goldfish and will forget 10 minutes after you show me what to do.  I have been known my my time to trip over my own feet when there’s nothing in the room or on the floor.  There’s nothing physically wrong with me, I’m not suffering from any motor neuron disease or infirmity, I’m just really goddamn clumsy.  It’s why past 8th grade, I didn’t participate in sports in school.  The last thing I wanted to do in high school was embarrass myself in front of my friends and family.

Twinkle, twinkle little star…..


I think if I could own any original work of art to hang in my house, I would choose the painting above.  I have always loved Starry Night, mostly because of the colors Van Gogh chose, but also because of the image he created, that of a swirling miasma of light above the sleepy town below.  It’s very evocative, yet very simple.  There isn’t a whole lot going on, but what is there is very dynamic.  It commands your attention.  My chances of owning it are absolutely nil however, as I don’t think the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York would take too kindly to me trying to procure it for my bedroom wall. LOL.  I’ll have to rely on a reproduction as a poster and just get that framed instead.