Two-way words.



I picked this because it looks like Chicago, even though I’m pretty sure it’s New York.


Elaborate is one of those words that has a different meaning depending on how you pronounce it. If you say “ee-lab-ore-ate,” it means to explain something further. If you say “eh-lab-ore-it,” it means something over-the-top or incredibly decorated. I’ll pick the latter definition to expound upon…or should say, elaborate upon. Hehe. I don’t like ostentatious or overly froufrou stuff. That goes for clothes, landscaping, interior design, food, you name it. I’m a simple woman with simple tastes. That doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate some towering topiary that a gardener spent three weeks and two sextants creating, but it also means I don’t need something that Trump-like in my front yard. I watch the Food Network sometimes when I’m bored, and in between asinine reality shows or hackneyed competitions, occasionally you’ll see a show where someone is actually cooking, and some of the dishes they make…..who are they making them for? Unless you routinely have President Obama over for dinner, is a six-course dinner necessary? I’m pretty sure you could give a burger, some fries, and a beer, and he’d be pleased as punch.

I honestly think sometimes people go overboard because they think it’ll impress whoever stumbles upon, and while I’m sure some people are impressed, I’d wager the vast majority of them aren’t.





I told you before, I’m getting a lot of use out of this picture on my blog.


Do you know someone like this? You ask for directions to go somewhere, and they tell you to turn “that way” or go down “this way” or walk down to the building “over there.” How about if you ask for where something goes, and they tell you to put it “over there” next to “that thing on the end.”

Sometimes non-specificity is required, and I get that. However, there are far more numerous times where being very specific is essential, and if we’re driving somewhere or I’m helping you put furniture together, I need to know, directly, where to go or where to put something. I don’t want ballpark figures or rough estimates. I need something concrete.

Are you the same way? Can you figure things out even if people are intentionally/unintentionally vague with you or will you just stand there looking at them, gaping like a fish?

Don’t be a little piggy.



You can’t see me right now, but I’m drooling.


Buffets are a tricky thing. It’s basically an excuse to pork out, but you don’t want to be that person who piles their plate full of food or makes umpteen trips back to get more food. Salad buffets are the worst, only because it lulls you into a false sense of security. Salads are healthy, right? So eating a lot of salad is totally okay. Sweet Tomatoes is one of my favorite restaurants, and it’s a salad buffet. I could spend hours in there trying little bits of each salad they have available, though my favorites are the Caesar salad and the Chicken Won-Ton Happiness salad. Fortunately for me, it’s in Raleigh, which is about an hour and a half from where I live, so I don’t have that many opportunities to eat there and make a fool of myself.

What’s your favorite buffet restaurant, and what do you always pig out on when you go there? Is it a salad or a main course? Maybe a dessert?

The Real McCoy.

If something is authentic, it’s real, it’s true, it’s verified. You can be assured you’re not getting a fake or a phony. This especially comes in handy when you’re buying things online that purport to be autographed by a celebrity, be they an athlete or an actor/singer. Fortunately for you, dear readers, I never give you a phony post. You always get 100% pure Designer Sophisticate with no added fillers or flavors. In keeping with the theme of honesty, for today’s Musical Interlude Friday selection I give you “True” by Spandau Ballet. Enjoy!

High school memories.

I graduated from high school in 2000 (I know, I’m old), so when I hear the word “genie,” I think of Christina Aguilera. I remember watching her on the Mickey Mouse Club back in the early 90s when I was in grammar school (I know, I’m old), so imagine my surprise when I discovered she had an album coming out and a hit song on the radio. It amuses me now to look back at some of the music I used to listen to when I was 16-19 years old, particularly since I’m fairly certain people won’t be listening to it in 50 years. That being said, I think Ms. Aguilera will be around for a while. Out of all those teen pop artists, other than Justin Timberlake, she had the best voice. So, if you’re my age or older, let’s take a journey back in time, shall we?

Are you experienced?



If you don’t have at least 5 favorite Jimi Hendrix songs, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life.


I know “fret” can mean to worry or obsess about something, but a fret is also one of those horizontal bars on the neck of a guitar, and when I think guitars, I think of Jimi Hendrix. If I had to rank my favorite guitarists in order of talent or how much I loved their music, I don’t know that I could settle on the order after Hendrix. He’s #1. Half the shit your favorite guitarist does, he (or she) wouldn’t do if Jimi Hendrix hadn’t done it first. His cover of All Along the Watchtower is so iconic, when Bob Dylan sings the song in concert (he wrote it), he does Jimi’s version, not his own. I have all three of his albums (the ones released during his lifetime), and I’m not sure which one I love the most. Electric Ladyland is my current favorite, but that could — and will — probably change.

Who is your favorite electric guitarist? The other noodlers on my list are David Gilmour, Jimmy Page, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Eric Clapton, and Mark Knopfler. Do you have any favorite songs or solos from those guys?

Daily Double.

This is a special day, boys and girls. I didn’t get a chance to post my response to yesterday’s prompt, so I’m doing it today along with today’s prompt. That’s right, it’s the rare Designer Sophisticate 2-for-1 sale. There are so many songs I love for one reason or another; they might be songs that remind me of my childhood or they’re songs that I connect to a certain time in my life or they’re songs that evoke certain feelings or emotions in me. So, it would be impossible to choose my absolute favorite song because I have so many. Instead, I’ll open up iTunes and share the song that I’ve played the most out of all tracks in my library. Enjoy!

Now, on to today’s prompt!

As you know, I avoid getting overly political here because I have readers all throughout the country (and the world), and I wouldn’t want to alienate or offend any of them by railing against their sacred cows, so to speak. That being said, when I hear the word “crank,” the first thing that comes to mind is Alex Jones. You know, that screaming asshole who thinks Sandy Hook didn’t happen and all the parents of the murdered children are lying? That guy. Being a conservative doesn’t make one a crank, but when you’re into full-on tinfoil hat territory, then you’re a crank. I don’t watch/read InfoWars, but some of the people I follow on Twitter post clips just to make fun of his ranting, and wow. Not even the late, great Art Bell would have put some of this shit on Coast to Coast AM.

Words to live by.



Get rid of that horrid mint, and I’d drink that. Mint belongs in toothpaste and mouthwash, not food.


Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Theodore Roosevelt’s eldest child, was a woman known for her wit, and one of her more well-known expressions was, “Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches.” It’s such a sublimely simple mantra, but there’s a lot of truth and power in it as well. Especially the “fill what’s empty” part. I think it’s far better to fill whatever empty or lonely time you have with something that brings you purpose, even if it’s something minor like working in your garden or organizing your closet. Don’t wallow. No one’s life is perfect, and some people have a harder row to hoe than others, but it feels much worse when you just sit around and let the emptiness fester. Believe me, I speak from experience. For example, when I’m starting to feel like the edges of melancholy start creeping in, I go clean something. Maybe it’s my bathroom, maybe it’s my sister’s old bedroom, maybe it’s taking everything off my bookshelf and then alphabetizing my books.

Fill what’s empty. You’ll feel a lot better. Just don’t fill it with drugs, alcohol, or risky sexual behavior. That will only make things much, much worse, and the point is to avoid that, not induce it.

“Remember when you were young…”

I’ve said this on my blog more than a few times, but one of my favorite bands, in the entire world, is Pink Floyd. I’ve got all but two of their albums (ON VINYL!), and I listen to them at least once a day. They’re great. The first thing I thought of when I saw the prompt for today was Pink Floyd and this song in particular. It’s a long one, so settle into a comfy chair to listen to it because you’ll be sitting for a while. For today’s Musical Interlude Friday selection I give you “Shine on You Crazy Diamond.” Enjoy!

Order, please.



I’m big on line (or queue) etiquette.


If there’s anything I hate most about having to stand in line for something, it’s having to stand in line for something with a bunch of people who don’t know how to stand in line correctly. For starters, I don’t need you on top of me. I know the line is cramped, but please put some space between your groin and my ass. Secondly, don’t touch me. Don’t tap my shoulder, don’t tug my elbow, don’t poke me in the back. I can see the people ahead of us are moving up so I will move up eventually. Thirdly, don’t start talking to me. If I wanted to talk to you, I’d initiate conversation. If I’m standing there reading or gazing contemplatively out the window/door, that means I’m not interested in idle chatter.

I know this seems snobbish or standoffish, but I don’t mean it to. I’m not comfortable making small talk with strangers, so I try to avoid it if at all possible. If we’re all standing in line waiting to get into something or to do something (like voting), I just want to do what I went there to do, then leave.