The Pain of Unemployment

I never thought I’d be 32 years old, living at home with my parents because I had no money, and unable to find work.  That’s not the plan I had for myself when I graduated high school and went on to college.  I have a BBA in Marketing from a top-ranked business school, I have great clerical skills, but no one will hire me.  I’m not even looking at the Marketing field for work anymore, because I learned several years ago that unless I spent my entire collegiate career working and ass-kissing people in sororities/fraternities/networking functions, I was never going to find work in that area to begin with.  So I’ve spent the last few years working for various temp agencies, all of whom eventually just forget I even exist, all the while trolling the Internet for any job I think I’m moderately qualified for.  What really irks me is when I find a job I can do, especially if it says “Entry Level,” but I get a reply back that I don’t have enough experience.  How am I supposed to get the experience I supposedly need for the job if you won’t hire me to give me the experience?  It’s like an Ouroboros eating its tail.

I spend every morning, for about 3 hours, searching 5-6 different job posting sites, including Indeed, Monster, and CareerBuilder.  I think in the last two years since I last had a job, I’ve sent my resume to a couple hundred different places, and in that time, only got called in for two interviews, one just a couple of weeks ago.  Did I hear back from them?  No.  I even called to ask if they were still interviewing people, what the status of my application was, and I was told I didn’t ultimately fit the mold for what they were looking for.  Was I surprised?  Not particularly.  I’ve learned now to never get my hopes up about something, because the moment I do, it falls through like a marble on a wet paper towel.  I try not to get depressed about my situation, but it doesn’t always work.  My parents are 65, both retirees, and the time will come when they won’t be around anymore.  What’s going to happen to me then?  I don’t want to still be in the same position I’m in now in another 20 or 30 years, but I also never dreamed I’d be where I am now about 14 years ago. 

The only jobs it seems that are left to me are prostitution and drug dealing, and I’m too fat/ugly for one, and not tough or intimidating enough for the other.  I can’t even get retail work, something I have experience with, because of my college degree.  I’ve taken to leaving it off my resume when applying for those jobs, but the nature of the other work I’ve done would suggest that I do have one, and subsequently I don’t get hired.  I’m also more than a little wary of getting called in for an interview, then being asked to explain why I lied about my education.  What am I supposed to tell them — “I’m sorry, but if I told you I had a 4-year degree, you’d find me overqualified for taking clothes out of the fitting room and putting them back on rails/shelves”?

One of the few good things I have to look forward to in my life right now is Fridays.  Fridays are a day for donuts for breakfast, and Starbucks/Google Earth at night.  It’s the only way I’m ever going to travel, and thanks to Street View, I know what Paisley, Scotland looks like, which is more than I could say a few years ago.  It’s the little things, I guess.

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