If I was elected President of the United States, the first thing I would do is faint, because OMG I’M PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Once the shock and awe subsided, and I was ready to get down to business, one of my first acts as the newly elected leader of the free world would be to make voting compulsory for all adults over the age of 18 who have not been convicted of a felony. I’m sorry, but many, many, many people suffered and in some cases died, just so you’d have to right to go to the polls every two years (or however many years there are elections in your area), and the idea of more than half the eligible electorate sitting on their asses and scratching their balls while other people cast votes to shape the future of our country pisses me off. Now, you might be asking yourselves, how is that taking something that is annoying (or worse) and making it fun?
Well, I’m glad you asked.
See, after you cast your ballot, you’re given a ticket. That ticket can be redeemed after the election is over. The ticket allows you to pelt the losing candidate(s) with balloons filled with colored water. Losing Republicans get pelted with blue water, losing Democrats get pelted with red. Every balloon costs that candidate $5. At the end of the afternoon, the number of balloons is counted up, and that amount of money is donated to a local charity or charitable organization. Who wouldn’t like the opportunity to throw water balloons at a politician, especially since that politician will then have to donate money to charity as a result? We’d see more people participating in the political process, that’s for sure.
Oh, and to make sure that people don’t try and game the system, the ticket you’re given after you turn in your ballot will have your fingerprint electronically scanned onto the back, so you and only you can redeem it at the fun-fair later on. Too bad this is just in the realm of fantasy, because I can think of a people from my own state of North Carolina that need a water balloon to the face.