Must Not Fail

I suppose to be overly simplistic about it, the #1 thing I’m most afraid of failing at is life.  Right now, I’m struggling to find work, and it weighs heavily on my mind every day.  My parents are paying my bills for me because I have no more money saved up in which to do it, and I know that on a fixed income, that bites into their budget every month.  I’m afraid of something happening to them and as a result, ending up homeless.  My sister has a boyfriend she can live with, and she’s a teacher, so she’s got a steady income, but I don’t have either of those things.  I’m afraid of being a burden to her when it’s just the two of us left, since marriage/children aren’t happening for me.  I’m okay with being the spinster aunt provided I’m not forced to live with her to avoid a shelter or the park.

Wow, that got maudlin all of a sudden.



  1. mterrazas32 · September 26, 2015

    I know the feeling. Am also struggling to find employment and at the moment am living with my parents. The same thing run in my head if something was to happen to them, I probably be homeless. last thing I want is to be burden on my family who all have other matters to worry about.


    • Beth · September 27, 2015

      I’m thankful I have family to live with; other people in my situation aren’t so lucky. I’m also fortunate I have family who care about me and love me, otherwise my stuff would have been on the front lawn when I turned 18, like what happened to a couple friends of mine. Their parents said, “Well, you’re an adult now — you’re on your own,” and that was that.


  2. passion through poetry · September 26, 2015

    What are the employment agencies like, are they just not assisting you? Or is it the type of work you are looking for? I’m afraid of being out of work, so am just holding on to mine for as long as I can!


    • Beth · September 27, 2015

      The employment agencies I’ve used in the past simply forgot about me after a while. They’d send me on a few interviews, and then when those interviews dried up, no matter how much I called/e-mailed them to let them know I was still available and looking for work, I’d never hear back from them, not even to tell me they appreciated my continued interest and that they were still looking. I got ZIP ZILCH NADA in the way of response. It soured me on them, really. I’ve been to three now that have done that, and I’m not keen to look for #4. My degree is in Marketing, but I’ve done mainly clerical/data entry work because it’s simple, and I can type 100+ wpm.

      Liked by 1 person

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