In a perfect and just world, I’d be typing this blog post from that hammock right about now, but instead, I’m sitting in cold, dreary, rainy North Carolina. Bah humbug. I love the beach, having gone a few times in my life, both when I was growing up in Chicago and again now that we live in NC. Fortunately each time I was blessed with decent weather, because no one wants to go to the beach in the rain or the cold. I’m not a fan of wearing a bathing suit in public, but I have a nice one that covers up everything I want to be covered, so it’s not as bad as it could be. Give me enough sunscreen (SPF 100+), some cold water to drink, a book to read, and some music, and I’m good.
Just…can I make a public service announcement? Ladies, if you’re bigger than say, a size 14 or 16….please don’t wear bikinis. Just don’t. There’s too much of you and not enough of it. I get wanting to be sexy and cute and all that jazz, but there comes a point when reality must set in, and the reality is you’re too goddamn fat to wear that bathing suit. The last time my sister and I drove out to the beach, which is about 3 ½ hours away, a woman a lot bigger than me started sashaying down the shore in a black bikini that looked like it was made for someone about a ⅓ her size. It was disgusting. You can be cute and sexy and wear something that fits, covers up all important parts, and flatters you. So stop it. Thank you.