Assassination insurance.

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend of mine about how he doesn’t need to be worried some rabid anti-Trumpenfuhrer will take a shot at him — Mike Pence is there to make sure that never, ever happens. See, Pence is what folks in the biz call “assassination insurance.” He’s someone just as bad as the President, if not worse, and his presence is solely meant to keep people from doing anything stupid and putting him in charge. I mean, Mike Pence is actually far scarier than Herr Trumpenfuhrer because while they both hold the same views and opinions, Pence can deliver them in a way that doesn’t make him look like a foaming-at-the-mouth psychotic, and that can make said views and opinions look more tolerable to people in the mushy middle. I called that pick for what it was when it was announced. When you’re a fascist, you pick someone equally as fascist but nicer about it to hang around and keep people on the level.

So, never fear, Deplorables™. Your God-King will never be felled by a hail of gunfire. He’ll die long after his one term is over, and hopefully it will be slow and incredibly painful, with a lot of projectile diarrhea.


One comment

  1. Jenn Burroughs · December 7, 2016

    I had the weirdest conversation the other day trying to explain this to my mom. She didn’t get it until I explained about his rabid anti-abortion legislation and that woman who was sent to jail over a miscarriage. She hadn’t heard anything about it previously.


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