Well, my take on the cryptic voicemail is that it certainly sounds like something an adulterous spouse or partner might say. First we have the brief, not-at-all-sincere apology, then we have the admission that they should have said something about it earlier, and it’s followed up by the even briefer goodbye, which is merely the word “bye.” Yup, that’s someone screwing around on you, calling from the house or apartment of the person they’re screwing around on you with, just letting you know that hey, I’m screwing around on you. How classy! I suppose we should give the person points for being honest about what they’re doing, but we must also subtract the points for being a cheating bastard in the first place.
Word to the wise — If you’re unhappy with the person you’re currently with, just break up with them. It’ll be far kinder than cheating on them, hoping they don’t find out. Because they always find out. They always find out, and when they do, they set your things on fire and post pictures of it to Instagram. Cheating is something immature idiots do when they don’t have the balls (or metaphorical balls for us ladies) to just end things when they’re unhappy, thereby giving the relationship a chance to end amicably. Don’t be an immature idiot.